Navigating motherhoood, wifehood, sisterhood, daughterhood while living a stay at home mother's ups and downs. GOAL: To take the route with the most highlights making mistakes along the way & learning as much as I can from anyone I meet along the WAY!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Poof: I'm Back!
Long time no see!
Yes, I have been absent for quite awhile. In short, the last year has been the greatest personal transformation I have had to date. I decided to leave my position at Fit & Healthy Schools to spend more time with my children. When I was with them, I was worrying about who could babysit them, what work I still had to do, where I had to be in an hour, etc. I couldn't give the job or the children the right amounts of quality time. I loved the position I held- very rewarding and in alignment with my healthy lifestyle and philosphy Yet, I felt imbalanced.
Turns out...(nope, no coincidences, my friends) It was the perfect choice! I learned to step back from my children and let them take their own leads in navigating the world. Lots of healthy choices were made regarding their education, extracurricular activities, discipline, and routines. (Let's forget August, where Jillian wouldn't go to sleep until 10 or so every night! Lots of signs went on her door stating: NO MONSTERS! A lot of tears were shed....I'm here to tell you we got through it!) We are understanding each other in a seamless fashion. No we are not perfect and nor we will ever be, but we are growing together in our individual ways and its AMAZING!
I had some lows in 2011. I broke up with a good girlfriend. It was my first relationship I had ever ended. (No judgements: Hey, I married my first boyfriend!) I was pretty heartbroken when it happened but since then I realized she came into my life for a reason. Good bad or indifferent- doesn't matter. It was God's plan for me, us, whatever. I had to sort out my emotions for a bit but after awhile I came to the conclusion it was the right choice to end the friendship. But on the flip side, I got to spend a week with my college friends in Jamaica, built stronger relationships with my other girlfriends, and met a few new friends that have turned out to be very special women in my life.
October, November, December- oh the joyous holiday months! And what a joy they were! Heavy planning of gift giving, parties, holiday shows, cookie baking,& football games made for a wonderful holiday season.
But what really brought me back to my blog is JANUARY 2012. I want to share with you my trip to Yogaville. I hope you get the chance one day to visit this little gold nugget tucked away in the mountains in the great state of Virginia.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The freedom that comes with self-acceptance......
July 30, 2010. A day I will never EVER forget. Hiking up a mountain in the Shendodah Valley alone for my annual "me" trip, I felt nervous and elated! The air was oddly crisp and cool for a summer day. I suspect a gift to me or...just being above sea level where the air is fresh. The hike was killer, my glutes were burning, my face was piercing pink, and my feet were starting to fatigue. I made it to the top of the trail a little after 8:30 in the morning.
Not too long ago, I read a book based on the movie, "Into the Wild". A thrill seeker, Christopher McCandless hiked into the Alaskan wilderness with little food and equipment, hoping to live a period of solitude but later died of starvation. His demise is sad but his story is inspiring. He was looking for peace but took it a bit to far and ultimately lost his life. Maybe by choice...that we will never know.
I set out to find something, like McCandless, (with balance and sense). Not sure what, but I can tell you this.....I found it.
I sat down on a large boulder, pulled out my BLANK journal and began to write. I wrote on one side of the page, Accomplishments and the other side Things I am grateful for. I found that my list was getting long so I flipped it over and wrote on the back. I couldn't believe how rich my life was! I had worried so much about others lives and I didn't take a look at my own so deeply. I had to stop to make it to yoga at 10am. So I dusted myself off and hurried down the mountain.
My yoga class was small, set in a tiny studio in the back of the resorts fitness center but, boy did BIG things happen during the two hour class. As moved from difficult pose after another I felt my fears about life float out of my body. A transformation was happening right before my eyes. The meditation was long...tears were flowing from my eyes....JOYFUL ONES.....I was free, free from my own fears, hopes, etc. I felt solely responsible for ME & only ME. I love ME!
Not too long ago, I read a book based on the movie, "Into the Wild". A thrill seeker, Christopher McCandless hiked into the Alaskan wilderness with little food and equipment, hoping to live a period of solitude but later died of starvation. His demise is sad but his story is inspiring. He was looking for peace but took it a bit to far and ultimately lost his life. Maybe by choice...that we will never know.
I set out to find something, like McCandless, (with balance and sense). Not sure what, but I can tell you this.....I found it.
I sat down on a large boulder, pulled out my BLANK journal and began to write. I wrote on one side of the page, Accomplishments and the other side Things I am grateful for. I found that my list was getting long so I flipped it over and wrote on the back. I couldn't believe how rich my life was! I had worried so much about others lives and I didn't take a look at my own so deeply. I had to stop to make it to yoga at 10am. So I dusted myself off and hurried down the mountain.
My yoga class was small, set in a tiny studio in the back of the resorts fitness center but, boy did BIG things happen during the two hour class. As moved from difficult pose after another I felt my fears about life float out of my body. A transformation was happening right before my eyes. The meditation was long...tears were flowing from my eyes....JOYFUL ONES.....I was free, free from my own fears, hopes, etc. I felt solely responsible for ME & only ME. I love ME!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Beautiful Flower
As the year comes to a close I want to share with you this inspiring song.....share with others but more importantly dig deep and believe it within yourself....My daughters will never let me play this too much. Happy Holidays!
Monday, November 22, 2010
A life with struggle gives meaning to a life with abundant GRATITUDE- HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
July 16, 2010. I surrendered. AGAIN.
Sitting in the doctor's office (a place I avoid at all costs) feeling unsure of my health. Tired. Missed cycles. Poor appetite. Yes, me, Mrs. Prevention. The doctor asked the questions and I answered, drew some blood, and came back with the results. He told me I had low thyroid. Me? 34 year old? Fitness crazed? Health nut? How? What? Why?
I struggled with the diagnosis for a few days. I knew it was result of abusing my body in my 20's. Questions circled my mind. Should I take the meds? Am I gonna gain weight? Is my heart going to be damaged? Will these hormones accelerate my chances of getting breast cancer? I sulked. Sulked. some. more. Woe is me. :( Then a lightbulb went off! Food is medicine, right? So I cut back on my dairy and gluten and added a few more semi-cheat meals....and BAM - my energy came back and the metabolism starting churning again a month later.
Admission: The anorexic voice that tries to come back in these times of so-called "needed control" was LOUD. "Oh go back to your old ways, we were a team, you had control over everything..blah, blah, blah. " Truth is Rexi, has no idea! All these health challenges I have had are from that VOICE. And the weak side of me, succumbed to it all those years! But, guess what? I beat that voice into submission a few days after that diagnosis as I have continued to do these past few years. I am DONE with her!
The unfortunate side of any addiction: eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, food addictions) drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc is they sneak up in you in times of stress. The mind has used these addictions to COPE, yes, albeit, negatively to one's health, during these times. The gift that I give myself everyday is to pummel those thoughts and replace them with thoughts of GRATITUDE and LOVE. The eating disorder just falls by the wayside when I do this. My meals are healthy and balanced. Portions are not rigid but moderate. I use food now for health, fuel, and PLEASURE! Through my work, with Fit & Healthy Schools, I teach the children and their caregivers there are no RULES, just living life with beliefs of balanced, health, clean, wholesome living.
I believe I am the BEST place in my life. My husband and my children are blessings God has bestowed on me. The strength, the confidence, the fortitude I feel at this time in my life is at the highest it has ever been. I feel STRONG in my beliefs, my love for my family and friends, and keep them close. Anorexia kept all that away! I used to say "but what else am I good at??" I was a world class Anorexic. Seriously. I should I have gotten awards for it. I was determined, secretive, passionate, a great student. Well, I quit that curriculum and have found a new one! Living the my best life with utmost gratitude.
If I have learned anything.....the two virtues I keep in the back of my mind are BALANCE and GRATITUDE. I know it seems simple but the mind is complex thing. And some days are better than others. I work to balance my time with my kids, husband, family, friends, and work.
So, for this Thanksgiving.....I wish all of you a healthy, fun holiday, A time to get together with the most special people in your life. Being grateful for their love and inspiration. Keep your portions moderate, enjoy the different flavors and smells, savor the decadent dessert! Make some special memories with your loved ones! GRATITUDE and LOVE, GRATITUDE and LOVE, GRATITUDE and LOVE. Thank you God, for all you have given me, even the struggles, that have made me the person I am today. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! xoxox
Sitting in the doctor's office (a place I avoid at all costs) feeling unsure of my health. Tired. Missed cycles. Poor appetite. Yes, me, Mrs. Prevention. The doctor asked the questions and I answered, drew some blood, and came back with the results. He told me I had low thyroid. Me? 34 year old? Fitness crazed? Health nut? How? What? Why?
I struggled with the diagnosis for a few days. I knew it was result of abusing my body in my 20's. Questions circled my mind. Should I take the meds? Am I gonna gain weight? Is my heart going to be damaged? Will these hormones accelerate my chances of getting breast cancer? I sulked. Sulked. some. more. Woe is me. :( Then a lightbulb went off! Food is medicine, right? So I cut back on my dairy and gluten and added a few more semi-cheat meals....and BAM - my energy came back and the metabolism starting churning again a month later.
Admission: The anorexic voice that tries to come back in these times of so-called "needed control" was LOUD. "Oh go back to your old ways, we were a team, you had control over everything..blah, blah, blah. " Truth is Rexi, has no idea! All these health challenges I have had are from that VOICE. And the weak side of me, succumbed to it all those years! But, guess what? I beat that voice into submission a few days after that diagnosis as I have continued to do these past few years. I am DONE with her!
The unfortunate side of any addiction: eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, food addictions) drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc is they sneak up in you in times of stress. The mind has used these addictions to COPE, yes, albeit, negatively to one's health, during these times. The gift that I give myself everyday is to pummel those thoughts and replace them with thoughts of GRATITUDE and LOVE. The eating disorder just falls by the wayside when I do this. My meals are healthy and balanced. Portions are not rigid but moderate. I use food now for health, fuel, and PLEASURE! Through my work, with Fit & Healthy Schools, I teach the children and their caregivers there are no RULES, just living life with beliefs of balanced, health, clean, wholesome living.
I believe I am the BEST place in my life. My husband and my children are blessings God has bestowed on me. The strength, the confidence, the fortitude I feel at this time in my life is at the highest it has ever been. I feel STRONG in my beliefs, my love for my family and friends, and keep them close. Anorexia kept all that away! I used to say "but what else am I good at??" I was a world class Anorexic. Seriously. I should I have gotten awards for it. I was determined, secretive, passionate, a great student. Well, I quit that curriculum and have found a new one! Living the my best life with utmost gratitude.
If I have learned anything.....the two virtues I keep in the back of my mind are BALANCE and GRATITUDE. I know it seems simple but the mind is complex thing. And some days are better than others. I work to balance my time with my kids, husband, family, friends, and work.
So, for this Thanksgiving.....I wish all of you a healthy, fun holiday, A time to get together with the most special people in your life. Being grateful for their love and inspiration. Keep your portions moderate, enjoy the different flavors and smells, savor the decadent dessert! Make some special memories with your loved ones! GRATITUDE and LOVE, GRATITUDE and LOVE, GRATITUDE and LOVE. Thank you God, for all you have given me, even the struggles, that have made me the person I am today. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! xoxox
Monday, April 19, 2010
Yoga for the YOUNG and.....OLD!
"The one person I am with forever is me. My relationship with myself is eternal, so I choose to be my own best friend. I choose to love and accept myself and talk to myself as I would to a beloved person in my life. I saturate all the cells in my body with love, and they become vibrantly healthy. I relate with love to all of life." - Louise L. Hay
That is the most important lesson I learned in my yoga training this weekend. You see, I am taking classes to become an RYT-C which is a registered yoga teacher with a specialization in teaching school aged children.
Flashback, 25 years to a young 8 year old on the starting block of a swim meet. I was a really good swimmer, especially the stroke of butterfly, but according to others, "I just wasn't strong enough!". I have come to find 25 years later, that simply isn't TRUE! My mind wasn't! I didn't believe I could do it, so I never WON! I wasn't my own best friend, in fact, I was my biggest enemy. Constantly saying to myself, I can't do it, I am weak, I am not worthy...oh you know - lots of negative self talk.
I have seen many competitors overcome challenges like the Olympic skater this year who lost her mother days before the competition, Brett Favre coming out and having the game of his life after his father died, Tiger Woods winning The US Open with a hurt knee, and Keri Strug winning the gold on a severely sprained ankle and so many other amazing, courageous stories!
I believe all of these athletes had great mental training as young children. Yoga is a discipline. Yoga keeps the body fit and flexible. When you focus on the poses, you allow your body and mind to be relaxed, allowing all the feelings, stresses, negative self-talk to leave the body and become centered. Young children are constantly being stimulated all day long....learn this, learn that, do this, do that! When do we allow them to take time for themselves to "just BE" and to be their "best friend"? Yoga does not lend itself to any religion or creed. You can adapt the experience for YOU and only YOU!
I wish I had this in my life 25 years ago when I was on that starting block. But, I have many more starting blocks to mount, I will put myself first and acheive all the things I would like to. Yoga will carry me through this. More importantly, I will teach my two little girls and the children of this generation the importance of the practice to love oneself and to understand and accept themselves as they are. Namaste.
Monday, March 29, 2010
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